.. [ 8. 30. 05 // @ 11:24pm] [ mood | bouncy ] well I am in my NEW house and its REALLY big! AH I have to go to the eye doctor tomarrow EEEE! I hate the eye doctor..But I need new eyes so I have to get CONTACTS! yaaaaa... not much has been going on other than that I GOT A JOB...well its with my mom so it still counts right? I GET MY NEW CELL TOMARROW...I hope <3 read(+2)cmnt

damn [ 7. 15. 05 // @ 1:31am] Damn its been a long time..I am finally getting the fuck out of here..its funny how much I missed this place and now that I am here i hate it so fucking much! read(+1)cmnt

.. [ 2. 8. 05 // @ 2:51pm] well me and justin are not really talking anymore I guess...It sucks to have feelings for someone who does not love you back..He is going to go out with Lauren or Sylvia..umm Hope cut so I am not talking to her alot of shit is going on but I am going to have fun tonight. read(+3)cmnt

bah [ 1. 18. 05 // @ 11:36am] [ mood | somewhat heartbroken ] Holy shit I am on my livejournal!I am back home finally, I have been hanging out wtih Justin and whatnot I am going to ITS now and it really sucks my moms boyfriend sucks really bad and My house burned down and well I am not supposed to be on this website at school so I am going to update more at Justins house tonight.. read(+2)cmnt

. [ 12. 24. 04 // @ 11:35am] [ mood | crappy ] Wow, I have 29 cds, its the most Ive ever had. Its crazy. Christmas Eve, I hate it so much It just feels like somthing is missing from it all. Well It really is missing but It doesnt feel right. So I am in a depressed mood. The only thing really going on good is that I am going home soon, Christmas is tomarrow and then its over and I have to be home the second so that I can get into school. I am kinda excitied but not really all that much. I have a new screen.name- Spaced Invater -I love it I think is pretty gay! Well I am going to go get dressed and get ready to go to my dads house..Bah I hate it there. Arika cmnt

HOME [ 12. 18. 04 // @ 2:40pm] After five long ass months I am finnaly moving back home..I may be having a new brother coming with me but I dont care..I am going to be home! cmnt

hum.. [ 12. 13. 04 // @ 5:24pm] I have a boyfriend....Colin....It feels fucking weird to be dating someone.. He kept asking me out and I was just like what the hell and so I said yes..He is still a virgin so he is not going to expect anything from me so Its all good.. read(+1)cmnt

[ 12. 7. 04 // @ 10:38pm] [ mood | Purely Suicidal ] I want to be with him, I want to hug him, I want to love him, I want to look into his eyes, I want to tell him he is beautiful, I want to kiss his soft lips, But I can't he loves another, Does he love her the way he loved me?, Does she love him the way he deserves to be loved?, Does she make sure he knows that he is a GREAT person? Will I ever be back in his arms? Could you ever love me again? read(+2)cmnt

But doesnt always end well.. [ 12. 5. 04 // @ 8:48pm] Okay. I am so fucking tired,I don't think I have been this tired in a long ass time. I waited until fucking six in the morning for this bitch to come home..She was at he bar all fucking night. She came home and was all ''Sorry I went to some guys house and we went in the hot tub and then I was tired so I went to sleep on his couch.'' What a fucking slut..I fucking hate in here.. Right now some guy she meet last night from the bar is here and I don't know what the fuck they are doing outside but they have been out there for an hour. Other than that, I spent all day at Tait's house. Me and chris didn't chill today because he went dirt biking.. or something like that..I think I like him and all but he acts like a real redneck sometimes.. I don't think anything will ever happen between us. I found out today that he fucked a thirty-six year old fat chick..:Fucking make me throw up:..I stayed at Tait's place and Cody came over and him and Miami were all making out and shit and I was getting kinda pissed because I hate Cody with the passion.So I just made out with her and all was well... cmnt

[ 12. 4. 04 // @ 9:59pm] [ mood | high ] Yo niggas!! Bah.I am at my house again..chilling with people it seems like there is a shit of people here but there is not..I can taste this nasty pill flavor in my mouth and it sucks! I was thinking about cutting my poorly scared wrists today, but I found the strength to not do it!! ::Proud, very proud:: Today I went to the mall and bought (HIM:Razorblade Romance) (Marilyn Manson:The Golden Age of Grotesque)and I can not figure what to listen to first so I am just listening to them both. I bought ANOTHER hoodie, with like the skull ribcage and skull and what not..I think I just figured out why the hell I am attracted to Chris and I think its because he is a lot like Justin.. *And as you all know I have loved Justin since..wow I don't know when* I am going to go keel.. read(+3)cmnt

I will always miss those days when you loved me.. [ 12. 1. 04 // @ 12:50pm] [ mood | sad ] I hope you are happy.. even if its tearing me up on the inside, seeing that your with her and that I cant and never will be in your arms. I hope you love her with the real words..except for the fake shit you told me that one night.. I hope you are by her side.. Unlike how you make me battle my pain by my own.. I hope you miss me.. or remember me.. But why I have my doubts.. I shouldnt be telling you this.. I shouldnt be wasting my time doing this I shouldnt be here crying like this But ill forever love you. read(+1)cmnt

[ 11. 15. 04 // @ 3:01am] [ mood | rejected ] Well yeah I spent the last two days with Miami witch I will never do again. There are a few people I can stand to be around for more than 24 hours and she is not one of them. I ditched her and told her to leave me alone and now she is chilling with my sister and they are watching a movie and stuff like that. We went to go see the movie SAW. I have already seen it twice so this is my third time watching it. By the third time I was practilly falling asleep. The best part was were I had to slurppies and I was drinking them at the same time, I got the biggest brain freeze. I was reading the new hufflelump movie with pooh and piglet and all there bitches..It was the coolest thing ever.. When my mom came and picked me and miami up she told me that justin called witch fucking suprised me the hell out. So I called him back and I said hi to Sheldon. Justins grandma said it was cool That I could stay the night over there once I get there this weekend. That will be cool. I played THUG2 I got really far actually and then Bobbi and Miami turned my game off with the remote when I was not looking..I was pissed. I have been trying to get passed a fucking part in HALO2 and I cant..its pissing me off..I like beat all of the covents and shit and then nothing happens I just walk around in circles untill I get mad and turn it off, or restart the level.. Well I am going to go to sleep I am very much tierd.. cmnt

Dylan [ 11. 13. 04 // @ 10:28pm] [ mood | creative ] Okay well I have not wrote in a while but this is the shit....I am at Miamis with Dylan and watching Harry Potter..Justin has a new girlfriend and I hate her...Me and Miami went to the movies and held hands the whole time...before we went we got such a buzz, umm..It was so cool, half my hand was asleep and and I could not move it and I ate sour gummy worms. It was really good they kept on changing colors. I am really really bored and not tierd at all. read(+2)cmnt

When is my day coming? [ 10. 30. 04 // @ 9:46pm] Tomarrow is fucking halloween..gay. today I went to a party and got half drunk and kinda messed up and then I just got really sad and went back to the apartment and took nap and then I woke up and smoked a ciggarette and starting thinking about Drew and how much I miss him and want him back so much...Then I started about Amanda and all the good times we had and how much I miss her and like how much I really do like her. Then kyle made me go to go outside and walk around and so we were together walking outside and I seen alot of people I hate and almost got into a fight with this black kid because he took this little boys hat and he is like 15 and the little boy was like 6 and I started to yell at him and said ''nigger'' and then he started chasing me and then he called Kyle a faggot and I got really pissed and kicked him the balls really hard..I ended up with a bloody nose and He ended up with smashed balls haha it really sucked..Then my mom picked me up like 2 hours late because she was drunk..and she had this guy with her in the car and get this his name is Guy, what a faggot..And then me and my mom got into a fight and now she is gone again. Last night she did not get home untill 6 in the morning and tonight is going to be the same way..What the fuck..I hate this bullshit..I want to go home..I really miss Justin..And not really as a boyfriend but as a friend he just really cool and fun to hang out with..I just miss all that shit.. I am just kinda rambling on for no reason but What the fuckever... cmnt

[ 10. 29. 04 // @ 10:51pm] George W. Bush is Love is an Idiot George W. Bush is Love is a Dumbass Muwhahaa Funny!! cmnt

[ 10. 28. 04 // @ 12:48pm] Today kyle, adam, chris, chareles and me are going to the mall in Adams new car! Write when I get back. cmnt

[ 10. 26. 04 // @ 5:51pm] [ mood | tired ] Last night I shaved all of my eyebrows off! There is nothing new in my life beyond all the shit that goes on. Surprisingly and I am not all that upset today. I am going to kill everyone in this apartment because they are all slobs and this place smells like cat shit, speaking of shit, how fucking hard is it to flush the toilet, I mean not matter how much you dont want to,DO IT!Get rid of your kids. And then Adam like gets off from anime and like cums all over magizines and paper towel and leaves it around the apartment.I am listening to Hot Hot HEAT so loud that the walls are moving. I am just waiting for this old lady across the hall to come over and yell at me because she always yells at us for playing our music loud when we are not even playing music..She keeps this broom stick outside of her door and I was thinking that maybe she is a witch..Everyday she puts out a can of tuna fish for the "stray cats" but there are not cats and then she does not clean up the tuna and keeps putting one there everyday so they just sit there and rot, So the hallway to the apartment smells like Fish. Well I am just rambling on but I have to share a room with adam and It smells so bad in there..I think the only person that is okay in here is Kyle.I am going to ask to sleep in his room... Oh and by the way, I am offically a Lesbian. read(+1)cmnt

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